About Me
As a child, I was taught about dysfunction through my environment and family. Both my father and mother provided me with intense and overwhelming obstacles to overcome. My history includes the curriculum of neglect, poverty, mental illness, depression, co-dependency, emotional abuse, and many others. Through time and understanding, I have come to revere my parents as my teachers, especially my mother who I once considered my greatest adversity. By diligently working through my early-life curriculum I have learned to reverence my mother as one of my greatest teachers and the path to my love.
I began my mental health work in 1990, at the age of 18, to help clear out my pain. Although at the time I didn’t understand the concept of life curriculum and lesson, I knew there was a better life for me. I saw my therapists weekly to monthly with small breaks as needed over a twenty-year period. During this time I worked diligently and consistently in the pursuit of my mental health and happiness. In 2015, I began journeying through earth medicines, shamanic drumming, and meditation. My first experiences were extraordinary and taught me about true happiness and the possibility for more in this life and beyond. My experiences built upon the hope within me and created a knowledge that I could grow and expand in ways I had only dreamed. This knowing began a fervor and passion within me for my growth that continues to be unquenchable to this day. The masters of the east have a saying that if you are to seek enlightenment you should seek it like your hair is on fire. I feel like my hair is on fire every day.
I am generally not one who lives life in a conventional way, and I see rules as considerations. This has been a gift to me in my journeying, providing me with flexibility and the willingness to let go and shift beliefs and ideas that do not serve the truths I learn. As I started this work, I was unsure where I would be led and what I would find. I still feel this way. I was and still am required to consistently remove my judgments, preconceived belief systems, and limiting behavior patterns to progress and learn. I am not the same being I was when I began my healing work. Each of us shifts and changes in new ways each day. But I can say my experiences have shifted from the slow lane to the fast lane since I brought journey work into my healing practice. My experiences have reshaped me, taught me, and loved me in ways that only I can truly know and understand. That is the beauty that I have found in journey work, to me, it is the most individualized, honed, and complete process and allows for growth and healing at a rate I had previously not thought possible.
Over the years I have had friends and others ask me how long I intend to use earth medicines and why I continue to meditate and use drumming. I understand for myself that it’s a commitment I choose every day to find my wholeness and to find my oneness with Creator. To me, healing is the process of finding my way home to my Source and I will continue to walk the path until my work is done. As for now, my work is yet to be completed and I choose to continue my progression and learning as long as I am able.
As a culture, we have not had or valued the teachings of the east or the indigenous teachings from our native populations for a very long time. As a matter of fact, most of this learning and teaching was forcibly removed from cultures and peoples in the early years of the Christian church. This was a time when intolerance was high and misunderstanding rampant. During this time shamanic and meditation practices were threatened and pushed out of almost every culture the early Christian church could reach as they saw these practices as heretical, witchcraft, and a mockery to God. Some peoples were able to take their practices underground but have been guarded and secretive to protect their ways. I wasn’t there at the time of this “spiritual cleansing”, so I do not understand what the justifications and motivations were. I do choose to acknowledge what has happened in the past through the teachings of the Tao – it is, so it was what needed to be and is as it should be. The good news is these tools are again coming alive in the Christian world and we are learning that they are not sins, heretical, or blasphemy but sacred tools for healing and finding the divine within. Many are learning that these tools are actually the gifts of a great Creator, God, Universe – whatever one may choose to call their Source – who loves creation and seeks to connect, communicate with, and teach Its children.
I remember reading and hearing miraculous scriptural stories as a child and thinking how marvelous and wonderous the experiences of the prophets were. What would it be like to have visions and to learn from God? What would it be like to see God? These were questions and hopes that I held within me from a very young age. As an adult, I hoped for the possibility that maybe I would have the chance to see an angel or my Savior in this life. It wasn’t until I began journeying practices that I realized these possibilities were actualities, not farfetched and unreachable. The key was understanding the process and the way to access these great gifts in my life and removing my own blocks and judgments. I have walked with my Savior in my visions, returned home to the realms of God; my Great Father and Great Mother. I have seen worlds without end and beginnings of worlds that continue without end. I have seen the great spirits of the heavens and been given to know and understand in the most intimate way of God’s love for each part of creation and for each child. I have walked holy realms that are layered within this world but remain unseen to the eye of man. I have seen and been taught about Christ’s role in existence. I have met with great masters and have been taught at their feet. I have learned that the way or the path exists within each one of us and that we are the key to our own progression. I do not refer to an exterior progression within the material physical world but of an internal progression in the spirit and esoteric realms that emerges and shines through into who and what we are as it illuminates our divine self and reminds us of who and what we are, a divine being of truth and light. I have heard and experienced so many unbelievable experiences that I simply struggle to contain my gratitude, my wonder, and my joy that have become a part of my daily life on this earth.
In the coming posts I will share my dreams, journeys, visions, and the gifts and teaching I have been given. If you find this blog, I hope it will lead you into your own curiosity and/or support you in the walking of your own path. Your path can only be walked by you in your own unique way and at times it may feel lonely and/or confusing. Know there are others walking with you and that we all walk together to a common goal – a goal of unity, oneness, light, and wholeness. May your path ultimately bring you home to the understanding of who and what you are and the truths that live inside of you. May you learn of your own divinity, light, and beauty.